Current:Home > NewsTikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree. -EverVision Finance
TikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree.
FinLogic FinLogic Quantitative Think Tank Center View
Date:2025-04-07 20:09:33
TikTokers say they've discovered the secret to predicting whether a couple will last or eventually breakup − and psychologists say they're actually onto something.
It's called the bird test, and it's the subject of research conducted by psychologist John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to investigating the psychology of relationships. Videos tagged #birdtest have accumulated more than 16 million views with users testing the theory on their significant others.
The test involves getting excited about something insignificant and seeing how your partner reacts. For instance, if you look out the window and exclaim, "Wow, that's a beautiful bird," does your partner look to see what you're interested in or do they ignore it and go about their business? Or worse: Do they lash out and dismiss your enthusiasm entirely?
Repeated reactions that involve ignoring or flat-out rejecting your attempts to connect, even over something small like a bird, doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship, the bird test posits.
Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says there's a lot of truth to it.
"The beauty of the bird test is, basically ... it's a bid to ask whoever you're with to turn towards you and engage with you and show interest in something that you're interested in, versus what (Gottman) calls turning away," he says.
Is the bird test reliable?
The purpose of the bird test is to see how often your partner picks up on bids you offer them in your relationship. Brown describes a bid as "a request to engage and to connect with the other, no matter what the topic is," such as an invitation to look at a bird.
In his research, Gottman found couples who stayed together and reported feeling happy in their relationships turned toward each other about 86% of the time when presented a bid from their partner. Couples who broke up or felt unhappy in their relationships turned toward each other only about 33% of the time, according to The Gottman Institute's website.
David and Victoria Beckhamand how to (maybe) tell if your partner is in love with you
Bids may seem small, but they happen frequently, so it's important not to ignore them.
"Throughout the day, we're often making these bids right?" licensed psychotherapist Marni Feuerman says. "It's not unusual to say, 'Hey, do you want to have dinner now? Do you want to go on a walk? Oh, look at this cool Netflix show.' How is your partner responding and reacting?"
Several TikTokers have put their partners to the bird test, including former "Bachelorette" star Michelle Young, who practically jumped for joy when her significant other stopped to look out the window when she said she saw a cardinal. Gottman himself has endorsed the trend on TikTok as well.
What if the bird test goes wrong?
Don't panic if your partner fails a bird test.
Brown says that, if you're going to employ the bird test, make sure it's not during a time when your partner is occupied.
"If you're in a relationship and you are wanting to look at a bird, but it's the seventh game of the World Series for your partner, and your partner may say, 'I can't turn towards you now,' ... that doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed," Brown says.
Also, it's more important to see how your partner responds to you over time, so don't write them off if they fail a single bird test.
"Make those bids a few times over the course of a couple days," Feuerman says. "Look for the pattern. So, if consistently the partner ignores, doesn't respond, the bid isn't tuned into, then yes, I would say someone could reasonably discern 'I might have an issue here' or there might be a problem."
And if there is an issue, talk it out − and keep in mind no one is going to pass the bird test every time.
"People are going to miss bids on occasion, and so it's not about people getting worried or panicked that they're missing some, because you will. We all will," Feuerman says. "We're human."
veryGood! (14)
Related
- From family road trips to travel woes: Americans are navigating skyrocketing holiday costs
- Spain vs. France: What to know, how to watch UEFA Euro 2024 semifinal
- Homes are selling below list price. That's bad for sellers, good for buyers
- Gun violence over July 4 week dropped in 2024, but still above 2019 levels
- Average rate on 30
- Beyoncé Cécred scholarship winner says she 'was shocked' to receive grant
- Giada De Laurentiis Reunites With Ex Todd Thompson to Support Daughter Jade
- Spanish anti-tourism protesters take aim at Barcelona visitors with water guns
- Selena Gomez engaged to Benny Blanco after 1 year together: 'Forever begins now'
- Beyoncé Cécred scholarship winner says she 'was shocked' to receive grant
Ranking
- DeepSeek: Did a little known Chinese startup cause a 'Sputnik moment' for AI?
- Peering Inside the Pandora’s Box of Oil and Gas Waste
- Ex-Browns QB Bernie Kosar reveals Parkinson's, liver disease diagnoses
- Some power restored in Houston after Hurricane Beryl, while storm spawns tornadoes as it moves east
- NFL Week 15 picks straight up and against spread: Bills, Lions put No. 1 seed hopes on line
- Simone Biles has a shot at history at the Olympics while defending champion Russia stays home
- Iran detains an outspoken lawyer who criticized 2022 crackdown following Mahsa Amini's death
- Ukraine says at least 31 people killed, children's hospital hit in major Russian missile attack
Recommendation
House passes bill to add 66 new federal judgeships, but prospects murky after Biden veto threat
AP PHOTOS: From the Caribbean to Texas, Hurricane Beryl leaves a trail of destruction
Rent inflation remains a pressure point for small businesses
‘This is break glass in case of emergency stuff': Analysts alarmed by threats to US data gathering
'Survivor' 47 finale, part one recap: 2 players were sent home. Who's left in the game?
Under pressure from cities, DoorDash steps up efforts to ensure its drivers don’t break traffic laws
Average Global Temperature Has Warmed 1.5 Degrees Celsius Above Pre-industrial Levels for 12 Months in a Row
Emma Watson Confirms New Romance With Oxford Classmate Kieran Brown